Many of you know that I’m not a parent. Even though I wasn’t able to have the personal experience of raising a child in a law enforcement family, I often feel confident when fielding questions regarding the impact on children. However, I do seek out people that have firsthand knowledge, experience, stories, and expertise so that you as a parent can feel seen and connected with others. Lisa Duez is a law enforcement spouse, mom, and mental health clinician. Today, Lisa and I chat casually about how being a law enforcement family can impact children and some of her parenting experiences along the way.
05:19: Cyndi and Lisa talk about how children in law enforcement families are more aware and have a different lens on the world.
08:50: How parents who are first responders adjust their parenting because of the career including anxiety and trying to keep the child’s world safe while protecting them.
12:29-13:28: How first responder children are impacted by their connection to experiences.
14:18: Teaching children coping skills to help them navigate.
16:40: As law enforcement families, we need to focus on the facts until there is evidence of the contrary.
17:40: Cyndi and Lisa talk about what behaviors law enforcement parents need to model.
22:15-22:50: Having increased stress and shame for making a mistake because of the mindset of “knowing better” as a first responder family.
22:57-24:06: The pitfalls law enforcement couples fall into regarding parenting.
24:06: Cyndi and Lisa talk about the traps officers can fall into when parenting and what to do instead including being more inquisitive instead of interrogating, having empathy rather than problem solving, being human versus an officer, and reassuring children when they are scared.
35:24: Understand that law enforcement kids are going to be impacted by the career and are going to feel/see the world a little differently.
39:09: Words of wisdom from Lisa including understanding mindfulness, living in the moment, and modeling behaviors for your children.
Lisa Duez is a licensed clinical social worker and owns her practice Turning Point Counseling and Consulting in Hampton Roads Virginia. Her clinical work has focused on working with law enforcement officers and their families, and she uses her lived experiences as well as EMDR and other trauma focused treatment modalities to assist with debriefings and respond to mass violence incidents. Lisa is the proud spouse of a law enforcement officer and a mother of two.
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