In episode 100 Cyndi reflects on the journey from 2017 with her first podcast to now. To celebrate this milestone, Cyndi’s husband, Bobby, interviews her and asks his questions as well as those submitted by the law enforcement community. Listen in to see if your question was answered!

3:11: Are you happy you started Code4Couples?

3:17- 4:02: Yes! For me, it was having a purpose or making sense of what I had gone through personally and what we had gone through in order to help other people. There were some challenges along the way

4:14: Regarding starting Code4Couples, how do you think it’s impacted you?

4:23: It’s been challenging at times when it comes to accountability and follow-through. The other way it’s impacted me is that it’s challenged me to go deeper with some topics and knowledge. There are a lot of personal challenges, and I’ve grown personally and professionally.

6:08: How do you think you creating Code4Couples has impacted our relationship?

6:20:-9:01: It created more compassion and the ability to have more difficult conversations.

9:05: How has Code4Couples grown over the last 100 episodes?

9:22- 10:59: The obvious growth is the progression of the podcast and writing my book. The other growth is the connection I have built with others in the law enforcement community.

12:02: Is your husband a nice guy?

12:06:  For the most part, I would say 80% of the time. There are times when he is more playful than others and there are times were he was impacted by the job.

12:50: If Bobby wasn’t an officer, what job would you see him in?

12:58- 13:40: That’s an easy question. He was in the restaurant industry for years and started culinary school. He quit the program because he wasn’t being taught anything of importance. To this day, he is still quite the culinary so I think he would have been in the restaurant industry in some capacity.

14:30: This is a two-part question. How were the first night shifts and how did you keep from fearing the worst?

15:10- 16:17: I lived on my own for a long time before marrying, so night shifts weren’t so bad. What was foreign to me was not being able to talk to him and not knowing what was going on. This was pre-texting and pre-social media.

17:07: How did you keep from fearing the worst?

17:12- 18:26: I didn’t fear the worst initially. It was after 9/11 happened that I became more fearful because I had more recognition and awareness of the types of danger he would be running into.

19:42: How did your reactions and feelings towards law enforcement situations impact your husband?

19:54- 21:10: The impact wasn’t a large one. believed if he wasn’t working in Dallas or Fort Worth, it wasn’t scary. There was no danger. What I hated and had feelings towards was the mistress in the relationship, the department, and the time he spent away.

23:51: What is the number one thing you wish you could tell yourself as a new law enforcement officer wife?

23:58- 26:09: I would tell myself to have compassion but have boundaries.

27:02: Would you change anything?

27:06-27:41: That’s such a hard question because then it’s the whole butterfly effect. If I could change one thing, it probably would’ve been to not shut down and to try to talk more about what I was feeling.

27:44: How do you help your LEO with PTSD?

27:52- 32:07: That’s a huge question. First of all, I would say understand that post-traumatic stress is not permanent. The most important thing is to encourage your law enforcement spouse or law enforcement officer to go get therapy. As a couple, you can support, but if you don’t get treatment and you don’t encourage treatment, then you’re suffering when you don’t have to. There is so much treatment available for post-traumatic stress.

For more information on PTSD listen to Ep:68 and Ep:75 

32:07: Do you wish your husband had a different career?

32:19-33:19: No because I know how much he loved being an officer.

34:15: Which holiday did you not want your husband to miss?

34:18- 34:21: Christmas.

35:17: Regarding the impact of the career, what are you most grateful for?

35:36-37:42: It has made me able to relate to a different group of people than I ever thought I would be able to. It’s made me a better counselor and more empathetic to individuals.

38:50: Did you ever regret becoming a police wife?

39:49: I would be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes. There were times when I wished I wasn’t alone and made to feel single. It created resentment.

40:17: Did you ever hate the career?

40:20: That is an emphatic yes. There are ups and downs.

40:47: What has been the most rewarding part of the journey?

41:11- 41:21: The most rewarding part of the ride is having people email me or DM me to thank me for what I am doing.

42:18: What is the single most supportive thing you have done for your husband?

42:46-44:11: The single most supportive thing I did was say okay and tried to be understanding

44:48: Have you heard anything negative about Code4Couples and its content?

44:54-45:27: Of course, but over the years I have learned to ignore them and not be impacted by the comments.

45:51: What impact have you seen Code4Couples make?

45:55: I know there’s an impact because I see the downloads of my podcast. I know there’s an impact because I get emails and direct messages. I know there’s an impact because people are wanting me to present to bigger audiences. I know there’s an impact because my book continues to do well and is increasing in book sales. I just might not hear everything about it.

46:44: Where do you see Code4Couples going from here?

46:48-47:48: I have a lot of plans regarding content distribution.

49:16: What do you want to address or bring to the forefront with your podcast, your programs, and/or your training?

49:24: I want to continue to talk about how to course direct. We need to understand the impact, but it’s also really important for us to understand that we decide how our relationship will be.

50:59: This is my question to Bobby! How have you enjoyed or not enjoyed Code4Couples?

51:31: It softened me up a little bit and I felt more valued when my shift mates would come to me for advice.

This has been a journey! I am now even more committed to doing this work and impacting officers and their spouses, your emotional health, your relational health, and countering the impact in order to have that resilience that you need.

Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship