How Burnout Impacts Law Enforcement Officers, Spouses, and Your Relationship
What does burnout in law enforcement relationships look like?
Burnout in law enforcement as an officer or spouse seems inevitable, considering the sacrifices you make and the impact on both of you. It leads to arguments and disconnection.
You work hard, juggling work, home, social life, projects, kids, parents, and all the other things. Appointments, meetings, and shifts keep getting added to your calendar, and paperwork is piling up. Maybe you’ve said yes to a few people or situations you really wanted to say no to.
You realize you’re not just burning the candle on both ends, but you’ve added some wicks making the candle burn faster. You think if I can just get through this or that, I can take a break. You promise yourself you will never do this again, only to find yourself back in a cycle again, or maybe you don’t see an end in sight at all.
You’re in burnout.
Burnout is prevalent in officers and spouses. It’s hard to figure out how to adjust when you feel like you don’t have the power to say no or to take a break. You just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You suck it up, buttercup, and you keep going. I have found myself there many, many times and you’ll see it because there have been breaks in getting my podcast released.
My take initially on the book? It must be nice to have time to take a break from your life and have a sabbatical.
Then she asked me to review her book. To say it shifted my thinking was an understatement. I walked away with some really great insight, enough to bring her on the podcast.
Understanding Burnout
In law enforcement, the commitment to keeping others safe, on and off duty, often overshadows our most fundamental needs—including taking care of ourselves. But when we neglect our well-being and begin the burnout cycle, can we truly serve at our best?
Burnout is an all-too-common phenomenon in the law enforcement community, affecting both officers and their spouses. It’s the result of constantly juggling work responsibilities, family commitments, and community service without taking necessary breaks. This lifestyle can lead to feelings of exhaustion, disconnection, and hyperfocus on productivity at the expense of personal well-being and relationships.
Practicing Intentionality to Prevent Burnout
Focusing on intentionality is crucial for both preventing and recovering from burnout. It’s important to consider how we want to feel and ensure our daily actions align with those intentions. By living according to our values and redefining our view of success, we can prevent burnout.
Small changes can lead to a big Impact. There are practical steps to implement intentionality in everyday life. This includes giving yourself permission slips to take breaks and not be perfect, adopting mantras for everyday encouragement, and practicing presence in small but significant ways—such as living in the moment a sunset or enjoying a moment of peace.
Yolanda talks about her “Perfect Day Exercise,” which gets us to imagine an ideal day while keeping real-life limitations in mind. The idea is to make small tweaks that reduce chaos and boost fulfillment. By being intentional with our planning, we can create a more balanced life, especially in demanding fields like law enforcement.
Burnout is a Journey, Not a Destination
In a high-stress profession like law enforcement, it’s crucial for both officers and their spouses to commit to an ongoing journey of preventing burnout. There will be setbacks, but with the right mindset and tools, recovery becomes manageable. It’s not about reaching a final destination, but about consistently making choices that bring more joy and connection into our lives.
By taking care of ourselves, we can better serve our communities and strengthen our relationships. Whether you’re an officer, a spouse, or a supporter, commit to this journey!
While the career is important, our well-being is just as essential—not only for ourselves but also for the people we protect and serve.
Yolanda Harper is a published author of Soul Sabbatical, which started as a series of journal entries written during a burn out “meltdown” that led to her taking a sabbatical from her roles as a trauma and relationship therapist, researcher, trainer, mental health thought leader, and business owner/entrepreneur.
